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Chapter 302 - Questions in the Breeze
Right now, Xu Yourong had already exhausted all of her blood and true essence, and was extremely weak. Right now, she would be unable to battle or even walk. As a result, not only did her challenge of “Do you want to die?” lack the intended feeling of pride, nobility and dominance, it instead was somewhat ridiculous. Indeed, Chen Changsheng even found this kind of ridiculousness somewhat endearing.
He laughed, “If you aren’t crazy, how would you have such absurd thoughts?”
Xu Yourong used great effort to control her mood and said, “How is it absurd?”
Chen Changsheng said, “As I said, there is no perfect being in the world at all. Just being imperfect and being worse than others can cause a feeling of inferiority—is that not absurd? The Pope’s ability in maintaining bonsais is not as good as the gardeners in the Hundred Herb Garden, so should he feel ashamed? The Divine Empress’s needlework is not as great as the needlework of the female workers in Wenshui City, so should she also feel ashamed?”
Xu Yourong slightly raised an eyebrow and said, “What I was talking about was the attitude towards life. Only with such an attitude can you become even more perfect.”
Chen Changsheng shook his head. “I am not saying that you should not adopt this type of attitude. It is just that, if you really think this way, have you never considered that nobody can be perfect before reaching the final moment of their lives, even if they constantly try their best? Since victory or defeat has not even been determined, why must we feel ashamed beforehand?”
“As for inferiority, that is even more impossible.” He pulled out a just-cooked tuber from the fire and passed it to her, exchanging for her ferret meat that had gone slightly cold. He continued, “Not being able to do it now does not mean that you are unable to do it in the future, and even if it is not done, what of it? Working hard should be caused by your inner desire, and should not come from the disparity from comparing yourself with others. As long as you really try hard, it is enough.”
Xu Yourong stayed silent. It was not known what she was thinking of.
Chen Changsheng spoke again, “I think that you should think it through. The hopes of other people on us are not important at all; what is actually important is what we hope ourselves to do. Aren’t people supposed to live for themselves?”
Xu Yourong raised her head and glanced at him.
Chen Changsheng understood what she meant and said, “The responsibilities we should shoulder obviously should be shouldered, but when living, we should live for ourselves. Also, the latter should occur before the former.”
Xu Yourong thought about it and said, “I am unable to understand.”
Chen Changsheng thought a little and said while laughing, “I am only speaking casually.”
Through this conversation, he discovered that this girl was like a hedgehog in the forest, defending against something at all times. It was easy to injure the flowers and plants, as well as the helping hands, and it was also easy to injure herself. Under her calm, unhurried, indifferent and strong outward appearance, she was actually so sensitive and tenuous.
Before when he mentioned perfection, he was just speaking in her words. In reality, he had never even thought about it. He felt that her way of thinking was very weird, which was why he felt that she had an illness—just what ordinary person would set perfection as the aim of existence? Once realising that it was impossible to reach complete perfection, would they not fall into depression and self-deprecation?
“What you say sounds somewhat reasonable, which perhaps can cause life to become slightly less complicated, but…”
Xu Yourong hesitated a little, and then asked for guidance, “The education that I have received since childhood makes me unable to accept your point of view. How should I face up against this type of pressure?”
Chen Changsheng pointed towards the tuber in her hand, and said, “Eat first while it’s warm. We can talk casually.”
Xu Yourong listened to what he said and tore open the slightly burnt outer skin of the tuber. A faint fragrance spread out.
Chen Changsheng said, “Firstly, we need to know what we want to do the most; the reason why we live.”
Looking at her expression, he said hurriedly, “Don’t say the word ‘perfection’ again—using perfection to describe the level is not concrete.”
Xu Yourong thought about it and said, “What I want to do most is cultivate.”
“Then cultivate,” he said.
Xu Yourong felt slightly unhappy, thinking, was he not fooling with people?
Chen Changsheng explained, “Other than cultivate, you don’t want to do anything else.”
Xu Yourong said, “But those things still exist.”
Chen Changsheng said, “Close your eyes and the sky goes dark. If you can’t see the world, the world doesn’t exist.”
Xu Yourong said, “That is only speaking idealistically. How can it persuade people? Also, cultivation is only a method, and not a purpose.”
Chen Changsheng looked and her, and thought about everything he saw and heard on the journey. He said, “If I am not wrong, your purpose for cultivation should be… in order to become stronger?”
Xu Yourong said, “Only with enough strength can you shoulder the responsibilities you should shoulder.”
Chen Changsheng said somewhat impatiently, “Can we forget the word ‘responsibility’ for a moment?”
Xu Yourong said sternly, “I wouldn’t possibly dare to overlook this for even a moment.”
Chen Changsheng thought seriously and then said, “Then I recommend that before you become the strongest person, temporarily forget this goal, and put all your energy into the method, cultivation.”
Xu Yourong said, “Without an objective, how am I able to advance without worry?”
Chen Changsheng said, “This proves that your objective is not resolute enough. It should be immovable. If that objective has already been deeply embedded in your will and blood, is there a need to constantly remind yourself?”
Xu Yourong thought and said, “Reasonable… then what is your objective in cultivation? Have you perhaps already forgotten it?”
“Of course I haven’t forgotten it.” Chen Changsheng went silent for a while before saying, “I pursue longevity.”
His cultivation was following his heart, and he pursued the Dao of longevity.
“What are the benefits in doing so?” Xu Yourong asked.
Chen Changsheng understood that her meaning was different from what she had asked. She was not asking for the benefits of longevity.
Towards such a way of handling things, only he in the world could understand where the specific benefits were the best, because the objective he pursued itself was a type of great pressure—the shadow of death always loomed over the end of his path of cultivation, waiting for him, and getting closer and closer. If he did not learn to forget about this, perhaps he would have become a madman from this type of extremely terrifying pressure long ago.
Why did he always follow his heart even from the old temple in Xining Village? It was because if he did not follow his heart, he was unable to live normally at all. How could he follow his heart so smoothly and unhindered in such a terrifying pressure? Only by forgetting it. However, he remembered his original thought, which was to live instinctively. Only this way could there be peace and happiness.
He constantly spoke, speaking very peacefully. He did not speak hurriedly, and what he meant was very clear. No matter how wild the snow and wind outside the temple was, it was unable to suppress him.
The door of the run-down temple was long broken, and the cold wind mixed with bits of snow drifting in. Some of it landed on his face, just as the firelight was doing.
The cold wind and the warm firelight fused together and formed a breeze.
Xu Yourong listened very diligently while looking at his face. Her eyes grew brighter and brighter.
The young man seemed to have experienced all of the affairs of the world, however, he was not dark and gloomy, and remained full of vitality. He was just like a gust of breeze, causing people to feel extremely comfortable.